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Pretty Dresses for Pretty Boys

Sooner or later, some of you sissies are going to have to face the fact that most – well – NO dresses, are cut for broad shoulders, man boobs, beer guts, and the total absence of a neck. (Notice that penis bulge wasn’t mentioned, usually not that big of a deal for you guys.) The general idea of a dress is to make you look pretty, but most of you wind up resembling eleven pounds of flour stuffed into a five pound bag. For you guys, we offer the following advice;
When you tape two identical dresses together, (as many of you seem to do,) the duct tape should go INSIDE the seams. This may be less comfortable, but unlike your behavior in the mirror, other people don’t have the luxury of contorting their bodies to avoid this visual blemish.
It follows that taping two dresses together needs to be done WITH THE SAME KIND OF DRESS!! Otherwise you just look like an ass.
Finally, would it kill you to shave any exposed skin if you don’t have the temerity to wax? Nothing is more disgusting than seeing a man’s hairy ass crack hanging out of the bottom of a drop-back dress. If you lack the flexibility to reach that far back, a razor on a stick is a feasible workaround.
That’s all I got for you fellas. Have at ‘em.

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